Don't Insult Narcissa's Scones
by Pleasing.the.Yaoi.Gods
Summary: Snape insulted Narcissa's scones so now she's sent Lucius to go get revenge. Rated for Lucius's outfit
1. the punishment

Author's note: One should never ask, simply accept. Please enjoy.

"Seeeeeeeeeeverus."

Snape glared more intensely at the book he was reading, choosing to ignore Lucius who's blonde head was sticking out from behind the door.

"Severus please don't ignore me, I need your advice."

Snape sighed unhappily and looked up. "On what?"

Lucius smirked and jumped into the room. "On this, do you think that Narcissa will like it?"

Snape's mind died; literally it just curled up into a ball of death and cried. In front of him stood Lucius in naught but straps of shiny black leather that criss-crossed his chest and then ran down his sides to wrap around the top of his thighs, everything else was on full display much to Snape's horror. "HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?"

Lucius pouted. "You're into this right? I found those magazines you like to read, so I assumed that you would be able to give me constructive criticism."

"Get out Lucius! Get out and put on some robes!"

"But Severus I need to know."

"I refuse to comment on this!" Snape yelled and got up and proceeded to beat Lucius with his book, forcing the nearly naked blonde from the room.

~~~~~_In another room_~~~~~

Narcissa and her sister sat in one of the various drawing rooms of the Malfoy Manor reading when they suddenly heard very loud screaming.

"You think Lucius just showed Snape the outfit?" Narcissa asked.

Bellatrix paused as they heard the shouting continue. "I think we would correct to assume so."

Narcissa smirked and looked back at her book. "Now maybe Severus will learn not insult my scones next time."

a/N: Please review


	2. the before

Author's note: when Snape insulted Narcissa's scones. Please enjoy.

Snape frowned at the scone he held in his hand. He was having tea with Lucius, the blonde haired man had begged him t come since he had only had his wife and deranged sister-in-law for company for the past month, and so Snape has conceded to join his fellow Death Eater. Though when he arrived he had expected that Lucius would want to do something more manly than drink tea seeing as he was complaining about needing manly quality time, but this was Lucius and no matter how intimidating his pimp cane was he still cared more about his hair than any normal man should.

"What's wrong Severus?" Lucius asked.

"This scone, it's dreadful. IS your house elf sick?" Snape raised an eyebrow at Lucius who looked like he very much wished to laugh. "What?"

"My house elf didn't make them?"

"Good Lord Lucius don't tell me you tried to make them?" Snape looked back down at the scone a bit unnerved. If Lucius had in fact made them there was a high possibility the blonde had put some sort of potion into it that would make Snape sillier, a demeanor Snape detested but one Lucius seemed to enjoy lately.

"Of course not, me make scones? Out of the question I am a man Severus, and don't look at me like that I can prove my ultimate manliness to you if I have to."

Snape paled. "Please spare me," he said. "If you didn't make these god-awful scones then who did?"

"I did."

Both men turned around to see Narcissa Malfoy standing in the entrance of the tea room, Bellatrix behind her looking very evil and amused.

"We thought we'd come join you but it appears as if you are not worthy enough of our presence," the mistress of Malfoy Manor said coldly.

"Forgive me Narcissa I only meant-"

"Enjoy your tea," Narcissa said, cutting the over-grown bat like man off. Bella gave one of her creepy giggles and then both women walked away.

When Snape turned back to look at Lucius he knitted his eyebrows together at Lucius's horrified face. "What?"

"I'd watch my back from now on if I were you," Lucius advised.

"Why?" Snape asked.

"Because you have insulted my wife. Now about my manliness-"

"I told you Lucius I do not want nor need to see what makes you a man."

"But it's so impressive," Lucius whined.

"I'm sure it is but I don't care."

Lucius pouted and somberly poured himself some more tea. "No one does anymore." Snape rolled his eyes and took another sip of his tea. Being locked up in the Manor was probably making Lucius more moody than usual, Snape wondered if he could convince the Dark Lord to let Lucius go out on another raid so he could stop acting like a neglected house-wife.

A/N: my one review made quite a point of being disappointed about not knowing how Snape insulted the scones so I was inspired to write it. Poor Lucius though. Anywho please review.


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